Hey tea sippers. Yes…I understand it has been quite the minute. For those new here, hi, I’m Triple Tea (aka Rachel Wahlin) and this is my personal blog.
So some of you may (or may not) have been wondering…what happened to the weekly “TRIPLE TEA ALERT”s. It’s been a tough few months to say the least, but I promise you it will be well worth the wait. But…here is how it all started:
In the late spring/early summer of this year, I had a lot going for me. I had job interviews left and right, started seeing a new guy, work was going well, and moved into a new place. For a while, things really were great…or at least I thought they were.
I thought that constantly working was the way to success (I’m talking like 55 hour work weeks here), and that opening up to someone new right away is a good thing (which I’ve come to conclusion, that it should wait in my opinion), and that taking a day off of work to relax was a waste of time.
Then the slippery slope began. I was eating less, unintentionally losing weight, stressing about the future more, getting rejected from job opportunities left and right, grieving over a failed relationship, crying to my parents on the phone, being horribly spoken to by customers at work, to having three to four panic attacks a day, ruminating about my past domestic abuse and convincing myself that it’s the reason why I can’t find a quality relationship, and regretting all the work I put into internships and college, to only still be working my retail job from college (I love all you VS ladies, but I just don’t want to do retail forever), and anxious about how my career was starting.
I’ll admit it, I was very depressed. And the few people I told were shocked because I’m so high-functioning and hid it so well. I spiraled when I was alone. Crying on my bed, getting upset with God saying “why can’t you help me get going?”, “why won’t anyone want to commit to me?”, and “why is this happening to me, when I work so hard?” The thoughts were getting darker by the day, and it was really starting to scare me.
Having my weekly therapy appointments were just not cutting it for me anymore. And as much as I was petrified about the future, with the support of my parents and advice from my therapist, I sought out serious mental health treatment. Something was wrong and I wasn’t myself anymore. I was lost.
I took six weeks off from responsibility, and dedicated everything I had to get a grip on my mental health at Rogers Behavioral Health. I was absolutely horrified to start, but looking back I wish had done it sooner.
All within a span of six weeks I learned so much about 1) how anxiety and depression are physiologically 2) what can trigger these events for me 3) how to lessen the sensation of a panic attack with things like meditation, paired muscle relaxation, gratitude and affirmations 4) how to catch myself when I have negative thoughts, and how to positively reinforce that it is okay to feel, and then move on 5) how motivation follows action, and 6) how my boundaries cause different emotional responses for me.
I can’t imagine where I would be if I didn’t seek mental health treatment. Taking time off to just breathe, read, write, and actually make time for myself. I found peace in the present moment, rather than getting lost in the future, and dwelling about the past.
Weekly “TRIPLE TEA ALERTS” and back on my to-do lists, and I’ll be delivering some fresh, hot tea every week. Cheers to new beginnings, and cheers to a fresh new cup of triple tea.
